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Iraq war robs soldier of life's milestones

By Marlene Naanes, amNewYork Staff Writer
More stories | MNaanes@am-ny.com

March 19, 2008

Iraq war veteran Mariel Sosa in the offices of the Manhattan Vet Center in lower Manhattan. Ms. Sosa was based in Balad, Iraq and worked as a Forklift Operator and Supply Assistant during the Iraq War. She now works as a Readjustment Counseling Technician at the Vet Center in Manhattan. (Jefferson Siegel / March 18, 2008)

Mariel Sosa missed her sister's wedding, her 85-year-old grandmother's quadruple bypass surgery and her dog Cujo's death.

A relationship with a boyfriend, who put a down payment on an engagement ring, ended.

Life's celebrations and tribulations occurred as Sosa served in the Army's 101st Airborne Division half a world away in Iraq.

"I missed life," said the 27-year-old resident from Prospect Heights. "I think about my life had I not been in the military: I probably would have been married by now, probably wouldn't have paid off school, probably would have had kids, probably still wouldn't know how to drive."

Wednesday marks the fifth anniversary of the Iraq war. About 1.7 million troops have been deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001 with nearly 4,000 casualties in Iraq alone, at least 60 of which were New Yorkers.

Many soldiers marked the passing of time not with numbers, but with the life events that occurred while they were away.

Sosa felt time elapse while she was overseas merely in the everyday events she missed. College friends went on vacations together and moved forward in their careers, sending her updates on an e-mail list the group maintained.

"I couldn't relate," she said. "I just felt so out of the loop, so I told them to take me off. Here I am, in Iraq, dodging mortars, hiding in bunkers."

When she came back from four years of active duty with the Army -- two one-year tours to Iraq and training and working stateside the rest of the time -- she felt behind and holed up in her apartment for eight months.

"I felt left out," said Sosa, who now works with the Vet Center in downtown Manhattan, helping veterans to readjust to life back home. She's also working toward a master's in social work at NYU. "I was hurt, jealous, sad, angry."

Sosa said she didn't regret her service in Iraq, which paid her undergrad loans, allowed her to learn how to drive and gave her lifelong friends. She, however, wouldn't share her opinion about the war.

For some soldiers, pictures help bridge the missing time. Andrew Roberts of the East Village, who served as an Army officer during a one-year tour in Iraq, missed his 10-year high school reunion, but his classmates took pictures with a photo of him during the party.

Knowing that other soldiers have missed family milestones make those vets who manage to get home in time appreciate those moments more.

Jayson Sepulveda Vega, who served in Fallujah as a Navy Corpsman from June 2005 to February 2006, got home for his sister's Sweet 16, his grandmother's death, and an aunt's cancer diagnosis.

"It just makes you appreciate more the time you spend with your family and your friends," said the 23-year-old Harlem resident. "Whether it's for good or for hardship, at least you know you're there to offer support."