If we were to go back and rewrite the script of “Friends,” we’d consider minimizing Ross’ role right after that first scene when he dramatically showed up at Central Perk soaking wet and whining about Carol moving out.
But then we’d never have been gifted with the oh-so-dramatic saga that was Rachel and Ross’ relationship, which kept us on the edge of our couches for 10 seasons.
Instead, we deal.
Every time we rewatch the beloved sitcom, we deal with the Geller who ultimately became the show’s most insufferable main character.
Here are just some of the reasons why David Schwimmer’s character was really the worst.
He isn’t accepting of beliefs that aren’t his own.
Specifically, he isn’t keen on beliefs that aren’t backed by science. Maybe Phoebe was asking for it by telling a paleontologist that she doesn’t believe in evolution (Season 2, Episode 3), but instead of accepting her opinion, Ross spends the entire day trying to convince her otherwise. We really see his true colors in “The One with the Cat” (Season 4, Episode 2), when he blows up on Phoebe when she thinks a lost cat is really the spirit of her late mother. That’s when Phoebe said it best: “Even if I’m wrong, who cares? Just be a friend, OK?”
He can’t keep a girlfriend … or wife.
Really, where do we even start with this one? His first wife, Carol, left him to be with a woman. His second wife, Emily, wouldn’t even talk to him by the end of the wedding reception (for good reason), and his third, Rachel, didn’t even know she was married to him. Ross’ excessive need to pop the question shows he’s impulsive, yet a hopeless romantic.
He isn’t supportive of his friends.
It was heartbreaking when Joey saved Ross a seat at the museum’s cafeteria and he sat with the “white coats” instead in “The One with Phoebe’s Uterus” (Season 4, Episode 11). Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Phoebe spared his feelings when he revealed his keyboard “skills” in “The One where Chandler Crosses the Line” (Season 4, Episode 7), so it’s a shame he doesn’t offer the same respect to them.
He cut Howard’s cake.
Just call him 3B. Could Ross have spared that $100 donation for his new apartment building’s handyman to save himself from the wrath of his neighbors? Yes. But that still wouldn’t have prevented them from seeing his true colors later that same episode. For some reason, he decided to dig into the retirement party cake before it’s even cut and served, gaining the reputation of being that guy from 3B (Season 5, Episode 15).
He really can’t flirt.
Thanks for teaching us all that gas is odorless, Ross. But we’re sure the pizza delivery girl could have gone on just fine without that science lesson (Season 5, Episode 19).
He couldn’t even remember Emily’s name at the altar.
He had one job. Repeat after the marriage officiant and say, “I Ross, take thee Emily.” That was apparently too hard for a man who was in love with someone who was a guest at his wedding, rather than the bride (Season 4, Episode 23).
He whines all the time and is super dramatic.
Just go back to that very first episode again when he showed us just how melodramatic he really was. “I feel like someone just reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck,” he said.
He’s that guy correcting people’s grammar.
Correcting grammar isn’t that uncommon, but put it together with his other qualms, and it becomes the icing on the cringeworthy cake that is Ross. “He’s always correcting people’s grammar … who, whom … sometimes it’s who!” Monica said in “The One with Joey’s Big Break,” when Phoebe can’t remember why she’s mad at Ross (Season 5, Episode 22).
