As the world mourns the passing of Dr. Ruth Westheimer, one of her dearest friends — actress Tovah Feldshuh, who portrayed her in an acclaimed one-woman show — shared what it was like to know the beloved celebrity sex therapist who helped so many people with their most intimate relationship problems.
“Human connection was the key to the many dimensions of Dr. Ruth Westheimer,” said Feldshuh, a Broadway, film and TV star, said. “She treated everyone that I can see with great dignity.”
Feldshuh, a Manhattan resident who met the renowned therapist, media personality and author more than 20 years ago, said she “had the honor” to portray her in a one-woman show called, “Becoming Dr. Ruth.” The show first ran in California during the COVID-19 pandemic before heading to the stage at the Museum of Jewish Heritage – A Living Tribute to the Holocaust, located in Lower Manhattan.
“I was lucky that I got to play her,” Feldshuh said, adding that she got to know Westheimer during the run of “Golda’s Balcony,” a stage performance that starred Feldshuh as the late former Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir.
Feldshuh, who also portrayed the late Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg, won a Drama Desk Award for her role as Meir.
Looking back at Dr. Ruth’s life
The actress did not hesitate when asked what her favorite memory is of her long-time friend.
“My favorite memory of her is dancing with her, which I did, not only at my daughter Amanda’s wedding, but in her apartment,” the Emmy and Tony Award-nominee said. “We used to do the Viennese waltz. She was of German descent but I’m Austrian descent, so it was close enough.”
Feldshuh shared that Westheimer’s open discussions about intimate issues were about more than just sex. They were also about relationships and love.
“She was not only wise, but she explored how to give human sexuality its proper dignity. After all, human sexuality at its best creates life, it doesn’t create war,” she said.
A diminutive lady at 4 feet 6 inches tall, Westheimer — once a sniper for the Israeli military — had a personality that matched her happy, seemingly always-present smile that the world got to know and love over her decades-long public career.
“Ruth was friendly with everyone. She made alliances with the doormen of her building and presidents of the United States,” Feldshuh said. “There’s no human being who passes in her universe that she didn’t reach out to, which is of course what she did with me. Because she is interested in connecting with other people.”
Feldshuh described Westheimer, a mother of two, as brave and strong, citing her upbringing in an orphanage and later becoming part of the fight for the birth of the state of Israel.
“She did not share her sadness or her pain,” her close friend said. “She would not gift that to other people. Her son said, ‘I never saw my mother cry,’ because I guess she wouldn’t cry in front of him.”
‘She loved turtles’
Adorable. Good looking. Well-spoken. These are all words Feldshuh used to describe her famous friend. And of course, her recognizable voice, impossible to ignore, was often impersonated — sometimes poorly — by amateur and professional actors alike.
“She had a wildly fabulous German accent that Johnny Carson fell in love with, and she was a big deal on all the talk shows,” the stage star, who also started the Feldshuh Fund for Women’s Health, said.
In addition to helping people, Westheimer had another interesting passion in her life: Turtles.
“She loved turtles. She always used to say to me that turtles have no predators, and that turtles don’t give up. They are strong, they have a good shell on them,” Feldshuh said, adding that Westheimer had turtle-inspired items throughout her NYC apartment.
Feldshuh attended shiva for Westheimer, where she spoke about her role in “Becoming Dr. Ruth,” as well as her friend’s will to “have a happy, meaningful and large life.”
Many people, whether they knew her personally or through media, will undoubtedly miss Dr. Ruth — an icon, warrior and lover of love who wanted everyone to be happy.
“She was interested in connecting with other people. And in that sense, she has left the world a little better for having lived in it,” Feldshuh said. “She really has left the world a better place.”
