Quantcast

By the millions, they’re invading the planet

They don’t look like us. They don’t act like us. They’re coming for our jobs — and work virtually for free!

Call me backward if you must, but I don’t trust their kind. I’m not sure how they all got here, but they seem to multiply like rabbits.

I go into McDonald’s, there they are. I stop by CVS, there they are. I try to be friendly, but they won’t — or can’t — answer me. I swear, you can have a heart attack in front of them, and they wouldn’t budge. I don’t mean to be insensitive, but we simply aren’t ready for the influx!

You say they’re just taking jobs that Americans won’t do? Ha! Before you know it, they’ll have all of our jobs — including yours.

I’m not the only one who thinks this way. Of course, I’m talking about robots.

“If someone builds a humanoid that goes out and kills folks, who is responsible?” asked State Assemb. Clyde Vanel (D-Cambria Heights), who’s sponsored a bill to govern the behavior (and misbehavior) of robots and artificial intelligence.

But are robots really out to kill us? Some, I’m sure, are very nice.

The truth is, it’s not immigrants who threaten our jobs and way of life, despite the efforts of certain demagogues to demonize them. It’s robots.

Millions of workers here and around the world already have been replaced by them. According to a study by management consultant firm McKinsey & Co., half of today’s work activities can be automated by 2055.

How are we dealing with this? Massive retraining is an obvious step. Unfortunately, it’s easier to scare the heck out of people about encroaching immigrants.

Meanwhile, these same frightened people are checking out their purchases by using robots at Target and Walmart, while self-driving cars and trucks will eliminate millions of their jobs in the not-too-distant future.

This isn’t some devious plot. It’s called progress, and we can’t go backward. It’s time to stop creating fictional threats and think realistically about the future.

“I don’t want to fight the robots,” Vanel said. “This is about how to work alongside them.”

Makes sense. Since they’re taking over the world anyway, might as well make friends with them — before they make pets of us.

Follow playwright Mike Vogel at @mikewrite7.